THE ARMY OF DRUNKS PODCAST

eggnog

THE EGGNOG ROULETTE CHRISTMAS SHOW 2021

By Eric

The Army of Drunks Eggnog Roulette Christmas Show 2021

The Eggnog Roulette Christmas Show 2021
With the Army of Drunks

Spending Christmas alone? If you’re a fan of our show, we’re just going to assume you are! But fear not, lonely drunken shut-in! You can spend Christmas with the Army of Drunks.

Our little festive foofarah is designed to give you the full Christmas Experience without ever leaving your home.

We start out by playing Eggnog Roulette, a most dangerous game where we mix eggnog with the most neglected leftover boozes you might have lurking in the back of your liquor cabinet. But it doesn’t stop there! We cover buying yourself a present off your old Amazon wish list — because who deserves it more than you? We also give you the awkward political dinner conversation, catch up on Laurie’s personal relationship with Donald Trump, as well as 2021 Name That Sex Act (a Christmas tradition in the AoD), and carol a rousing rendition of “O Come All Ye A-Holes.”

Oh, and also hear how Buck’s house got shot at, how Shaft’s Grisly’s Cosmic Black is going, and learn about MixMa$ter Therm’s barrel aging madness!

It’s Christmas! Who needs other people?

Subscribe on iTunes!
Subscribe on Stitcher!

OH, AND HERE’S WHERE WE USED TO EMBED THE SHOW UNTIL LIBSYN AND WORDPRESS CONSPIRED TO FUCK US. JUST GO HERE:
https://armyofdrunks.libsyn.com/the-eggnog-roulette-show

DRINK ALONG AT HOME
Our Eggnog Roulette Results Table

Eggnog & Old VermouthBAD!
Eggnog & Old BrandyGOOD!
Eggnog & Vodka & Kahula (The Nog Russian)DECENT
Eggnog & Early Times WhiskeyLESS-THAN-LOVELY BUT DRINKABLE
Eggnog & Diplomatico Rum & Disaronno Italian Almond Liqueur AWESOME!
Eggnog & Bols Creme de MentheNOT BAD
Eggnog & Rum & Trader Joe’s Coffee Creme LiqueurUNIRONICALLY DRINKABLE
Eggnog & Tequila Almond LiqueurNOT GOOD
Eggnog & GoldschlagerDAMN NICE!

CATCHING UP WITH LAURIE
Or Matt’s Unintentional Text Relationship with Donald Trump’s Fund-Raising Committee

In case you’ve forgotten the backstory, Matt somehow ended up on Trump’s fundraising text list, his phone number typo-ed in by someone named Laurie. Now Trump won’t leave Laurie alone, and the dysfunctional family guilt-trip is being leveraged hard.

Check below for some actual Trump texts to Laurie!

“WOW. Don’t ignore Trump’s PERSONAL message, Laurie!”

As always, all of this stuff is copyright 2021 Army of Drunks.

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THE OLD FASHIONED SHOW – with Johnny Amerika

By Eric

AOD_Old Fashioned_Show Slug_small_IMG_3740

 

OLD FASHIONED SHOW
With Johnny Amerika

Meet mad genius Johnny Amerika who builds the sort of machines you only come up with when you’re drunk as the Army of Drunks get ice-balls deep in the (Whisky) Old Fashioned cocktail, a drink older than anyone alive today.  We also hear news from the drunken hamlet of River Falls, learn the story of a real-live Killdozer, and drink seven-week-old eggnog without dying.

Subsribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!
http://armyofdrunks.libsyn.com/the-old-fashioned-show

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Whiskey Old-Fashioned

  • 2 oz. bourbon or rye.  (Or a mix.  We used three parts bourbon to one part rye.)
  • 1 sugar cube.  (Or 1/2 oz simple syrup.)
  • Angostura bitters
  • Orange slice and/or peel
  • One non-marchino cherry (optional)

Put a sugar cube in a glass and soak it down with bitters.  (And add a little water if that’s how you roll.)  Muddle it.  Pour in the booze.  Add a slice of orange or orange peel, and a cherry.  DO NOT MUDDLE THE FRUIT, DAMN IT!  Serve like you mean it.

MixMa$ter Therm gazes with dread upon the seven-week old eggnog.
AOD_Therm_Eggnog_IMG_3737

Here’s Johnny’s  trebuchet commercial.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZbG9i1oGPA

And the story of Marvin Heemeyer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvin_Heemeyer

 

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THE EGGNOG SHOW – with Derek Jones

By Eric

AOD Egg Nog Show Slug_small_IMG_3233

THE ARMY OF DRUNKS
EGGNOG SHOW
with Derek Jones

Learn about the history of Christmas’ biggest egg-and-dairy-based alcoholic tradition, and why some folks like to leave their nog out before they get their nog on.  Comedian Derek Jones tells us about Los Angeles’ biggest Ugly Sweater Party, and how a Moose takes a mistress.  Also, we play “Name That Sex Act” holiday edition, and find out What’s in Shaw’s Craw!

Subscribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen direct here:

 

FOLLOW DEREK JONES ON TWITTER
https://twitter.com/tooderek

DEREK’S UGLY SWEATER PARTY
https://www.facebook.com/EastCoastFamilyChristmas

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
THE ARMY OF DRUNKS EGGNOG TROUGH
(A recipe bastardized from Alton Brown and Martha Stewart.)
NOTE: This recipe can be cut in half, or a third, if you just don’t have enough friends to consume it all, and if you’re a fan of our podcast, you probably don’t.

  • 12 egg yolks
  • 1 cup, plus 3 tablespoons sugar
  • 1 & 1/2 quarts whole milk
  • 3 cups heavy cream
  • 1 tablespoon freshly grated nutmeg
  • 12 egg whites (to save for servin’ time)
  • 1 cup bourbon
  • 1/2 cup dark rum
  • 1/2 cup brandy or congnac

DIRECTIONS
In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the egg yolks until they lighten in color.  Gradually add the 1/3 cup sugar and continue to beat until it is completely dissolved.  Add the milk, cream, booze and nutmeg and stir to combine.  Then let age for six months if you have time, maybe overnight if you don’t.

When it comes time to serve the glorious nog, place the egg whites in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat to soft peaks.  With the mixer still running gradually add the 1 tablespoon of sugar and beat until stiff peaks form. Whisk the egg whites into the mixture.  Chill and serve.  (Though you should have chilled it *way* before now.  If you aged your eggnog by leaving it by the fireplace, start over.)

IMG_3222
Nuts being megged by MixMa$ter Therm.

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S EGGNOG RECIPE
“One quart cream, one quart milk, one dozen tablespoons sugar, one pint brandy, 1/2 pint rye whiskey, 1/2 pint Jamaica rum, 1/4 pint sherry—mix liquor first, then separate yolks and whites of eggs, add sugar to beaten yolks, mix well. Add milk and cream, slowly beating. Beat whites of eggs until stiff and fold slowly into mixture. Let set in cool place for several days. Taste frequently.”  Historians believe he used a dozen eggs.  Why?  Because freedom.

PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF INJURED POLISH SANTA
£££-A-drunk-Santa

OUR SHAMEFUL EGGNOG CONSUMPTION
Before:
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After:
IMG_3239

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