vodka | THE ARMY OF DRUNKS PODCAST

THE ZIGGY STARDUST SHOW (REDUX) – David Bowie Tribute w/ Andy Hermann

August 18, 2017 By Eric

THE ZIGGY STARDUST SHOW
With Andy Hermann
Music editor for the Los Angeles Weekly

It’s August, and since everyone in Southern California fucks off to pastures new, we’re re-running one of our favorite shows.

In celebration of the groundbreaking alien rock star, the Drunks present a tribute show with L.A Weekly music editor Andy Hermann while drinking the Ziggy Stardust, a drink as complex as Bowie himself. (And the first Army of Drunks cocktail that could actually burn the place down.)

WARNING: We get loaded, pretentious, and all-kinds-of-serious about Bowie and his music, but we still have plenty of comedy-ha-ha-good-times as Spork recounts her tale of getting pelted with eggs in Havana on New Years Eve, we play “Bowie or Bizkit,” and we delve deep to find out what’s in Shaw’s craw.

Oh, and for those of you Bowie virgins out there, don’t worry, Buck gives his list of where to start listening. (Or go ahead and worry. See if we care.) But you can scroll down to buy the albums on our Amazon Store.

(And the show is NSFW as always.)

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Or listen directly here!

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Ziggy Stardust

4 oz Vodka
1 oz Creme de Violette
2 dashes Orange Bitters
1/2 oz Goldschlager
Sprinkle of Cinnamon
Fire

Combine vodka, violette and bitters in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake and pour into a martini glass. Pour the Goldschlager into a shot glass and light on fire. Sprinkle cinnamon over the flame and watch it sparkle like Ziggy Stardust himself. Then pour into a glass and drink, reminding yourself that the world is over four billion years old, and you were lucky enough to live at the same time as David Bowie.

The Ziggy Stardust in Progress. Notice the heart-shaped flame. (photo by Kevin Rolly)

OUR HONORED GUEST
Andy Hermann is the kick-ass music editor for the Los Angeles weekly. Read more about him here.

Andy’s listicle tribute to David Bowie — 10 Reasons Why David Bowie Was Our Weirdest Rock Star — is here.

AND WE ALSO TALKED ABOUT…
Ann Power’s NPR piece on David Bowie — Reflections of a Bowie Girl — can be found here.

Henry Rollins’ L.A. Weekly review of Bowie’s Blackstar is definitely worth a look here.

DAVID BOWIE’S MUSIC
We mentioned a few albums on the show, and Buck’s list of the three albums to start on are:
– Hunky Dory (1971)
– The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars (1972)
– Aladdin Sane (1973)
To that, Andy added:
– Let’s Dance (1983)
That oughtta get you started. We also discussed:
– David Bowie (1967) his first album
– Blackstar (2016) his final album

All of this is available in the Drunken Music section of the Army of Drunks Amazon store. GO THERE NOW!

AS PROMISED, HERE’S A PICTURE OF SPORK IN THE STREETS OF HAVANA ON NEW YEARS

Spork Represents the USA in Havana on New Years.

FINALLY, A RARE PHOTO OF THE DRUNKS IN THEIR NATURAL HABITAT.

The Drunks in their Natural Habitat. (left to right, Shaft, Buck Down, Spork, Matt Shaw, guest Andy Hermann, MixMa$ter Therm. Photo by Kevin Rolly.) — left to right, Shaft, Buck Down, Spork, Matt Shaw, guest Andy Hermann, MixMa$ter Therm. (photo by Kevin Rolly.)

THE ZIGGY STARDUST SHOW – with Andy Hermann

January 24, 2016 By Eric

THE ZIGGY STARDUST SHOW
With Andy Hermann
Music editor for the Los Angeles Weekly

Yes, unless you’ve been buried under a man who fell to earth for the past month, you know that David Bowie recently passed on to the great unknown. In celebration of the groundbreaking alien rock star, the Drunks present a tribute show with L.A Weekly music editor Andy Hermann while drinking the Ziggy Stardust, a drink as complex as Bowie himself. (And the first Army of Drunks cocktail that could actually burn the place down.)

(And the show is NSFW as always.)

Subscribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Ziggy Stardust

4 oz Vodka
1 oz Creme de Violette
2 dashes Orange Bitters
1/2 oz Goldschlager
Sprinkle of Cinnamon
Fire

OUR HONORED GUEST
Andy Hermann is the kick-ass music editor for the Los Angeles weekly. Read more about him here.

Andy’s listicle tribute to David Bowie — 10 Reasons Why David Bowie Was Our Weirdest Rock Star — is here.

AND WE ALSO TALKED ABOUT…
Ann Power’s NPR piece on David Bowie — Reflections of a Bowie Girl — can be found here.

Henry Rollins’ L.A. Weekly review of Bowie’s Blackstar is definitely worth a look here.

All of this is available in the Drunken Music section of the Army of Drunks Amazon store. GO THERE NOW!

AS PROMISED, HERE’S A PICTURE OF SPORK IN THE STREETS OF HAVANA ON NEW YEARS

FINALLY, A RARE PHOTO OF THE DRUNKS IN THEIR NATURAL HABITAT.

THE OLD FASHIONED SHOW HOLIDAY REDUX – with Johnny Amerika

November 29, 2015 By Eric

OLD FASHIONED SHOW – HOLIDAY REDUX!

With Johnny Amerika

Holiday time is upon us, and as the Drunks gear up for Season Two, we regift a show from Season One, now with added fruitcakery! MixMa$ter Therm tells you how to make your own Holiday Five-Actually-Seven-Spice Liqueur to give as a gift to the ones you claim to love!

Meet mad genius Johnny Amerika who builds the sort of machines you only come up with when you’re drunk as the Army of Drunks get ice-balls deep in the (Whisky) Old Fashioned cocktail, a drink older than anyone alive today. We also hear news from the drunken hamlet of River Falls, learn the story of a real-live Killdozer, and drink seven-week-old eggnog without dying.

Subsribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!

MIXMA$TER THERM’S HOLIDAY FIVE-ACTUALLY-SEVEN-SPICE LIQUEUR!
Infusing liqueur is a (sometimes) cheap and (always) easy way to create a gift that makes you look a like an artisan badass. MixMa$ter Therm set out to concoct a booze based on the original “Chinese Five Spice” spice mix, and two extra spices later had a perfect Christmas liquor for getting loaded under the tree. You will need:

1 oz. cinnamon stick(s)
1 oz. whole cloves
1 oz. star anis
1 oz. fennel seeds
1 oz. black pepper corns
1 oz. whole nutmeg
1 oz. whole allspice
1.75 liter bottle of vodka
Approximately 2 cups simple syrup (1 part sugar to 1 part water)

REGARDING THE SPICES – Yes, we suggest buying them whole, not ground. It’s not the cheapest way to go, but you’ll have enough left over to make gallons of the stuff if you want.

Holiday Seven Spice Liqueur_small OriginalPhoto-470515979.008200 Measure out 1 oz. each of the spices and put them in a big pile. Mash the cinnamon sticks and the nutmeg if you want, but otherwise toss everything in a frying pan and toast it up over the stove. (That means just heating them up for a few minutes while you toss them around in the pan. NO STINKIN’ OIL!)

Coax all of those spices into a big-ass bottle of vodka and let it sit for about three days. Be sure to turn the bottle over a few times once or twice a day to keep them flavors mixin’! When the three days are up, strain out all of the spice through a fine strainer or a loose coffee filter or the powers of your mind or something. (And yeah, you’ll need a big bowl to dump all of this Christmas-tasting liquor into.)

Add simple syrup to taste, but we found a 1-to-4 syrup-to-vodka ratio worked quite well. This would be about 2 cups of simple syrup for 1.75 liters of infused vodka. Sip along the way to make sure you’ve done it right, and to make the time pass faster.

Pour your finished liqueur into smaller bottles, slap home-made labels on them that read “Annie’s Secret Christmas Cheer Elf Potion” or something equally f***ing adorable, and give them out to anyone you want to impress. Sit back and reap the holiday benefits, or just get drunk on pure Christmas magic!

AND NOW FOR THE SHOW NOTES…

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Whiskey Old-Fashioned

2 oz. bourbon or rye. (Or a mix. We used three parts bourbon to one part rye.)
1 sugar cube. (Or 1/2 oz simple syrup.)
Angostura bitters
Orange slice and/or peel
One non-marchino cherry (optional)

Put a sugar cube in a glass and soak it down with bitters. (And add a little water if that’s how you roll.) Muddle it. Pour in the booze. Add a slice of orange or orange peel, and a cherry. DO NOT MUDDLE THE FRUIT, DAMN IT! Serve like you mean it.

MixMa$ter Therm gazes with dread upon the seven-week old eggnog.

Here’s Johnny’s trebuchet commercial.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZbG9i1oGPA

And the story of Marvin Heemeyer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvin_Heemeyer

THE WHITE RUSSIAN SHOW – with Aydrea Walden

September 11, 2015 By Eric

THE WHITE RUSSIAN SHOW
With Aydrea Walden
(Author of The Oreo Experience)

The White Russian? Is it more than just a Black Russian with cream? Actually, no. But just like “cream” can mean the difference between an NC-17 and X rating, the mighty dairy product does something special that takes this cocktail to a sweeter and sweatier place.

Join us as we explore the details of the White Russian, and since we really covered the Black Russian in another show, also discuss the details of the 1985 film “White Nights,” with Gregory Hines and Mikhail Baryshnikov.

But our real star is Aydrea Walden, author of “The Oreo Experience” blog, and creator of the stage show of the same name. Aydrea regales us with tales of growing up as a self-described “Oreo,” or “total whitey trapped in a black chick’s body,” why it was impossible to convince her white peers in a Texas high school that no, she did not like “Boys II Men,” and how she still can make an East Coast W.A.S.P. uncomfortable.

We also discover a how you, too, can go to an actual bathroom in the middle of a lake, play “Which is Whiter?” and find out what’s in Shaw’s Craw.

Subsribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The White Russian

5 parts (or 2.5 oz) vodka
3 parts (or 1.5 oz) Kahlua or coffee liqueur
1 part (or 1 oz) cream or half-and half
Ice (duh)

The biggest point of contention in all White Russian recipes is the balance of ingredients. After some experimentation, MixMa$ter Therm determined the 5-3-1 of vodka to Kahlua to cream seems to be the optimal combination. Fill a glass with ice, add the vodka and the Kahlua, stir affectionately, then add the cream on the top. Drink while imagining you’re as cool as anything that happened in The Big Lebowski.

CHECK OUT AYDREA WALDEN’S WORK!
The Oreo Experience Blog
The Oreo Experience Live Show

THE CROWLEY LAKE FLOATING OUTHOUSE
No photographic records exist of this outhouse, leading us to believe that is really is a supernatural phenomenon.

Short: 1990s – (Redeeming) THE APPLETINI

July 19, 2015 By Eric

Short: 1990s – (Redeeming) The Appletini
with the Army of Drunks!

Ah, the 1990s! A time of transition between the sugary concoctions of the 80s and the more mature cocktails of times to come. Where candy-flavored “bullshitinis” ruled the high-end drink menus of bars all over America. We dive face-first into the Jolly Rancher-green Appletini and survive. How? Through the ingenuity of MixMa$ter Therm and his genuinely-worthy Apple Martini recipe. Along the way, we get to know the drink nobody wants to take credit for, except maybe some guy named Adam Carston. Listen and be amazed! (NSFW as always.)

Subsribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Classic Bullshit Appletini Recipe That Will Make You Popular With College Kids

2 parts vodka
1 part sour apple pucker
3 parts shame (If genuine shame is available, you should not be serving this drink.)
Apple slice for garnish

Put all ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake. Pour toxic green mixture in glass. Garnish with apple slice. Serve to under-age sorority girl. Drink. Realize what you’ve done. Cry bitter tears. Scrape sugar from lips.

The MixMa$ter Therm Variation That’s Genuinely Good

4 parts vodka
1 part calvados
1 part unfiltered apple juice
1/2 part cointreau
Apple slice for garnish

Put all ingredients in a shaker with ice. (Except the apple slice. It’s a garnish, and you’re smarter than that, friend.) Shake like you mean it. Pour into a chilled glass. Garnish with the apple. Sip confidently knowing you’ve graduated to the next level, and those green Appletini Goblins can never hurt you again.

Finally, Who the F*** is Adam Carston?
http://bfy.tw/tQZ

Short: 1980s – THE SEX ON THE BEACH

June 14, 2015 By Eric

Short: 1980s – The Sex on the Beach
with the Army of Drunks

Why are we doing this? Really, why are we doing this? The 80s. Was it the beginning of institutionalized Spring Break drinking, or did it just seem that way because everyone was young and drunk? We take no steps toward finding out, but we do drive head-first into the Sex on the Beach cocktail. And if it makes you feel any better, we don’t enjoy it.

And if you can create one cocktail after an embarrassing Spring Break indiscretion, can you create more? Find out as we reverse-engineer awkward sex acts into cocktail recipes. And remember, Alcohol Jesus is watching over us all.

Subscribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Sex on the Beach

2 parts Vodka
1 part Peach schnapps
2 parts Orange juice
2 parts Cranberry juice

Pour everthing in a big glass with ice. Stir. Drink. Throw dignity down toilet. Repeat.

OPTIONAL MIXMA$TER THERM VARIATIONS
MixMa$ter Therm came up with a couple of variants to make to make the drink a little more palatable.

Variant One: Replace the Peach schnapps with Cointreau.
Variant Two: Replace the Peach schnapps with a float of Galliano.

OTHER SPRING BREAK SEX-ACT COCKTAILS!

THE SEX IN A MOTEL6
• Jaegermeister
• Plastic-lined glass
• Small bar of soap

THE BLOWJOB IN A PARKING LOT
• Midori
• Cream.

THE UNCOMFORTABLE THREEWAY
•Goldschlager
•Kahlua
•Coke

THE CONSOLATION HANDY
• Orbitz
• Popov

THE DANCEFLOOR DRY-HUMP
• Red Bull
• Dry Sack Sherry

Short: 1970s – THE HARVEY WALLBANGER

May 22, 2015 By Eric

Short: 1970s – The Harvey Wallbanger
with the full Army of Drunks

Return with us to the 1970s — an era of bell-bottoms, key parties, and generally terribly cocktails — to discover the Harvey Wallbanger, the most refreshing summer drink with the most fictionalized history in all of bartending. The Army of Drunks asks the burning question: How can a cocktail made of so many lies take so damn delicious?

We also delve into the cocktail’s inherent dichotomy: Is Wallbanger is a girlie drink or a manly drink? And play along at home as Eric challenges everyone to “Real Cocktail or Real Canadian?” (Note: We clearly lost track of the score. Sorry about that. We were drunk.)

Subsribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!
http://traffic.libsyn.com/armyofdrunks/AOD_1970s_Harvey_Wallbanger_Show_1-2.mp3

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Harvey Wallbanger

1 1/2 oz. (3 parts) vodka
3 oz (6 parts) orange juice
1/2 oz (1 part) Galliano (a.k.a. Liquore Galliano L’Autentico, if you want to be that way.)

Stir the vodka, orange juice and ice in a highball glass. Float the Galliano on the top. Garnish with an orange slice and serve outside on the lawn.

(Optional: Place all car keys in a bowl. Blindly draw a set of keys from said bowl. Match the keys with the car-owner. Have awkward “swinging” sex with that person.)

FOR HISTORICAL REFERENCE: AN ORIGINAL “HARVEY WALLBANGER” SALES POSTER
(See what me mean about “Meth-Head Ziggy?”)

AND GRAB YOUR STRANGELY-UNRELATED WALLBANGER MERCH NOW!
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Short: 1950s – THE BLACK RUSSIAN

April 25, 2015 By Eric

Short: 1950s – The Black Russian
with Katie Massa and The Municipal Bloodbank Players*

“Drink-a-Decade” enters the cold war with a cocktail created for the amabssador of Luxembourg. (Seriously.)

It’s the Black Russian, a drink so sweet and delicious you’ll forget it was born under the shadow of two great super-powers who hoped to destroy each other. Learn about the White Russian and other far-less-drinkable variations that you really don’t want to try. We also delve into the burning question of “Salve or ointment?” and also reveal where the hell Spork has been hiding all this time. (Spoiler: It’s all about the Coachella Hippos.) And we play “Black Russian, Bond Villain or Porn Star!”

*The Municipal Bloodbank Players do not actually appear in this show.

Subsribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!
http://traffic.libsyn.com/armyofdrunks/AOD_1950s_Black_Russian_Show.mp3

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Black Russian Cocktail

5 parts vodka
2 parts Kahlua or other coffee liqueur

Mix everything in a glass with ice and stir gently. Really, it’s that simple. And to make a White Russian, just add 3 parts half-and-half. (Or commercial “Mocha Mix” if you want to go the full Lebowski.)

AND HERE’S THE WIKIPEDIA ENTRY ON THE WOMAN WHO INSPIRED THE COCKTAIL ITSELF
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perle_Mesta

Ain’t history grand?