THE ARMY OF DRUNKS PODCAST

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THE HOT BUTTERED RUM XMAS SPECIAL – with Rico Gagliano and Andy Hermann

By Eric

HOT BUTTERED RUM CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 2017
with Rico Gagliano of The Dinner Party Download
and Andy Hermann, former music editor of the LA Weekly

“The Worst of 2017!”

Let’s face it, it’s been a shitty year.  Mass shootings.  Government lootings.  Putin still pooting.  Trump still doing crazed lying narcissist things that don’t rhyme with “ooting.”  (Though we maybe could have stretched it to involve “#metoo-ing.”)

And if you live in L.A., you got to suffer sale of our longest-running independent newspaper to a bunch of douchebag lawyers from Orange County who fired the whole staff, then put out ads asking ,”Hey, who wants to work for free?”

What can make these holiday horror cookies go down easier?  HOT BUTTERED RUM, of course!  And we’ll tell you its damn not-that-storied history while we get loaded on it.

We also get the inside story of how the ugliness at the LA Weekly went down direct from Andy Hermann.  Then we talk to former Dinner Party Download host Rico Gagliano about what it’s like to wrap-up a ten-year-old podcast without a single sexual harassment scandal.

Oh, and we all die on the side of a mountain.  TRUE!

Subscribe on iTunes!
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Tip Us on Patreon!

Or Listen Directly Here!

 

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
Hot Buttered Rum

Usually we translate MixMa$ter Therm’s Beautiful Mind-style cocktail notes into something we all can understand, but in this case he’s spelled the whole process out for the ape-like laymen we are.  Here are his notes, verbatim.

Hot Buttered Rum:

  • 2 TBSP batter (below)
  • 2 oz dark rum
  • 4 oz boiling water

Put batter in bottom of mug or glass.  Pour in half of the boiling water and stir to incorporate batter.  Add rum and rest of water.

– Alt method – Put water and rum in glass, then top with batter.  (we can try both during the show, if I don’t get to trying them both first and picking a winner)

HBR Batter – Classic:

  • 1 stick (4 oz) butter*, room temperature
  • 8oz brown sugar
  • 1 1/2 TBSP Pumpkin Pie Spice (store-bought, or make your own)

Cream butter and sugar together**.  Add and mix-in spices.  Store in refrigerator.

HBR Batter – Therm special Edition:

As above, plus 1 tsp vanilla extract and 2 TBSP browned butter (cool before adding).

Notes:
*butter – It’s a key ingredient in your drink, and it’s a special occasion; go ahead and splurge on a decent one!
**Creaming butter and sugar – basically, put them in a mixer (butter first, add sugar a bit at a time) until it’s well combined and a bit fluffy.  Look it up on the Internet if you’re unsure.

Have fun with the spices.  This is your opportunity to create your own, signature mix.  (Then sign the pile of loose spicy powder to make sure everyone knows it’s your signature)

Some recipes use spiced rum.  I think this shows a lack of faith in your batter.  If you don’t think the final result is flavorful enough, improve your batter.

Basic spice mix for this amount:

  • 1/4 tsp ground cloves
  • 1/4 tsp fresh-grated nutmeg
  • 1/4 tsp ground allspice
  • 1/4 tsp ground ginger
  • 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

 

OUR DRUNKEN GUESTS

First of all, if you’re curious about the state of the LA Weekly, read this lovely little article from the Columbia Journalism Review, “Just sell the paper and go home.”

Next, if you want to buy Rico Gagliano’s revolutionary new book BRUNCH IS HELL, do it here and the Army of Drunks will get a tiny, tiny kickback from amazon.  And yes, he makes a compelling argument why this social ritual we call “brunch” really is a howling abomination.

 

Andy Hermann has been busy doing music reporting for NPR.

But he was kind enough to make a BEST ALBUMS OF 2017 list for all his friends.  We’re reprinting it here without his permission.  Because that’s the kind of people we are.

ANDY HERMANN’S TEN BEST ALBUMS OF 2017

 

And no, we will not provide a link to Marshmallo, unless we’re compelled to by his lawyers.  (Listen to the show if you don’t get the reference, okay?)

 

As always, all Army of Drunks shows are copyright ©2017 Army of Drunks.

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THE MOJITO SHOW REDUX – with Clifton James Weaver III of Funky Sole

By Eric


THE MOJITO SHOW
With Clifton James Weaver III
(aka DJ Soft Touch)

What’s the “Song of the Summer” for 2015?  Damn us to Pharrell Hell if we know, kids!  Popular music has failed us, so we sit down with one of L.A.’s most accomplished funk and soul DJs, Clifton James Weaver, and tap his encyclopedic knowledge of groove before August slips away.

We also sit back and sip on the Mojito, Cuba’s most enduring contribution beyond cigars and a stream of angry expatriates to Florida.  Discover the drink that started as a cure for dysentery and ended up as one of Ernest Hemingway’s favorites!

And: Could Ike Turner beat up Ché Guevara? (NSFW as always.)


Subscribe on iTunes!
Subscribe on Stitcher!
Tip Us on Patreon!


Or listen directly here!

And Check out the 2017 LA Weekly piece on Clifton!
http://www.laweekly.com/music/funky-soles-clifton-weaver-aka-dj-soft-touch-is-a-master-of-vintage-soul-sounds-8525534

DRINK ALONG AT HOME
The Mojito

  • 3/4 oz lime juice
  • 1 3/4 tsp superfine sugar
  • 2 oz white rum
  • 4 oz club soda
  • 4 mint leaves (or more)

First muddle the mint leaves with the sugar and lime juice in a tall glass.  (If you don’t have a professional-grade muddler, you can use a spoon.  If you do have a professional muddler, congratulations on a good use of your discretionary income.)  Add the white rum, top off with soda water, garnish with more mint and/or lime slices, drink with a straw, write novel, plan revolution.  Repeat.

MIXMA$TER THERM’S MOJITO CALCULATIONS
Therm's Mojito Chart CROPPED IMG_3568

CLIFTON JAMES WEAVER ON THE WEB
Clifton’s Corner at Aquarium Drunkard
Snap, Crackle and Bop on Punk Aristocrats
Jump + Dance Radio
Funky Sole at the Echo on Facebook
Clifton’s Facebook Page

OUR PLAYLIST FOR THE NIGHT
Keep on Shining – Curtis Harding
Move On Up – Curtis Mayfield
Check Your Bucket  – Eddie Bo
Sex Machine – Get Up with Dancer
Kelen Kati Leen – Orchestra Baobab
Got a Thing on My Mind– Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings
Vehicle – Orquesta Cubana de Musica Moderna

All of these songs can be found on Amazon at The Army’s Drunk Music Store!
(So hey, music lawyers, please don’t give us a take-down order.)

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THE COBBLER SHOW – with James Slay

By Eric

The Army of Drunks Cobbler ShowTHE COBBLER SHOW
With James Slay
Actual Goddamn Bartender

We should have done this a long time ago. This week the Army of Drunks sits down with an actual goddamn bartender to hear what life is like behind the counter.   Warning: it can suck to be on the other side of you when you’re ordering a drink.

While we hear war stories from behind the bar, we investigate the Cobbler, the first American cocktail to take the world by storm in the 18th century, thanks two the combination of sherry, ice and — believe it or goddamn not — the invention of the straw.  Listen as we get old-tymie loaded on both the original Sherry Cobbler, which liked you’d expect is made with sherry, and the D Cobbler, which upgrades to whiskey and ginger ale.  (NSFW as always.)

Subscribe on iTunes here!

Or Listen Directly here!

During the show, James educates us on William Schmidt, one of the first cocktail book authors in America.  In fact, here he is!  Look into his steely, whiskey-burned gaze as you think about what booze awaits you.

IMG_0139
William Stinkin’ Schmidt!

 

 

 

Remember, William is an innocent, but his mustache stands in judgement of you and all you’ve done… or failed to do… in this life.

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Narragansett Cobbler

  • Whole Peel of Orange
  • Juice of one Orange
  • One “jigger” whiskey (we used Canadian whiskey)
  • One Bottle of Ginger Ale (though you won’t need the whole thing)
  • Cracked Ice
  • Berries to Garnish this Sucker
  • A Paper Straw (if you’re going to be traditional about it)
If you’re going to be a badass like MixMa$ter Therm, start by taking off the entire peel of one orange in one piece.  Good luck with that.  Put the peel artfully spiraled in a collins glass.  Add the juice of the orange, a jigger of whiskey, fill the rest with ice, and top off with ginger ale.  Then garnish it with berries, because it makes you look all-Martha-Stewart ‘n’ shit.  (And really, it makes the drink look gorgeous.) Drink through a straw, a paper one if you’re going to be historically accurate.
AND AS LONG AS YOU’RE SIPPING HISTORY, ALSO TRY…
The Sherry Cobbler
  • 4 oz. Dry Sherry (everyone says go for amantillado)
  • 1/2 tsp simple syrup or 1 tbs sugar
  • 2 or 3 Orange Slices
  • Cracked Ice
  • Berries and/or Mint to Garnish it to Glory
  • A Goddamn Paper Straw
Muddle the orange slices and the sugar/syrup in a mixing glass.  Add the sherry and ice, then shake like a bucking mule.  Strain into a collins glass over more cracked ice.  Garnish that sucker with berries and a paper straw.  Pretend you’re in The Music Man.

BUY WILLIAM SCHMIDT’S BOOK!

AND CHECK OUT THE CAPGUN HOLDUPS!

SOME GODDAMN PHOTOS FROM THE RECORDING SESSION – ORANGE SLAUGHTER & SUPER MARIO!

Therm and the Mobius Peel.

IMG_0124

Special Guest Super Mario!

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THE OLD FASHIONED SHOW HOLIDAY REDUX – with Johnny Amerika

By Eric

AOD_Old Fashioned_Holiday Slug_smal_IMG_3740

OLD FASHIONED SHOW – HOLIDAY REDUX!

With Johnny Amerika

Holiday time is upon us, and as the Drunks gear up for Season Two, we regift a show from Season One, now with added fruitcakery!  MixMa$ter Therm tells you how to make your own Holiday Five-Actually-Seven-Spice Liqueur to give as a gift to the ones you claim to love!

Meet mad genius Johnny Amerika who builds the sort of machines you only come up with when you’re drunk as the Army of Drunks get ice-balls deep in the (Whisky) Old Fashioned cocktail, a drink older than anyone alive today.  We also hear news from the drunken hamlet of River Falls, learn the story of a real-live Killdozer, and drink seven-week-old eggnog without dying.

Subsribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!

 

MIXMA$TER THERM’S HOLIDAY FIVE-ACTUALLY-SEVEN-SPICE LIQUEUR!
Infusing liqueur is  a (sometimes) cheap and (always) easy way to create a gift that makes you look a like an artisan badass.  MixMa$ter Therm set out to concoct a booze based on the original “Chinese Five Spice” spice mix, and two extra spices later had a perfect Christmas liquor for getting loaded under the tree.  You will need:

  • 1 oz. cinnamon stick(s)
  • 1 oz. whole cloves
  • 1 oz. star anis
  • 1 oz. fennel seeds
  • 1 oz. black pepper corns
  • 1 oz. whole nutmeg
  • 1 oz. whole allspice
  • 1.75 liter bottle of vodka
  • Approximately 2 cups simple syrup (1 part sugar to 1 part water)

REGARDING THE SPICES – Yes, we suggest buying them whole, not ground.  It’s not the cheapest way to go, but you’ll have enough left over to make gallons of the stuff if you want.

Holiday Seven Spice Liqueur_small OriginalPhoto-470515979.008200Measure out 1 oz. each of the spices and put them in a big pile.  Mash the cinnamon sticks and the nutmeg if you want, but otherwise toss everything in a frying pan and toast it up over the stove.  (That means just heating them up for a few minutes while you toss them around in the pan.  NO STINKIN’ OIL!)

Coax all of those spices into a big-ass bottle of vodka and let it sit for about three days.  Be sure to turn the bottle over a few times once or twice a day to keep them flavors mixin’!   When the three days are up, strain out all of the spice through a fine strainer or a loose coffee filter or the powers of your mind or something.  (And yeah, you’ll need a big bowl to dump all of this Christmas-tasting liquor into.)

Add simple syrup to taste, but we found a 1-to-4 syrup-to-vodka ratio worked quite well.  This would be about 2 cups of simple syrup for 1.75 liters of infused vodka.  Sip along the way to make sure you’ve done it right, and to make the time pass faster.

Pour your finished liqueur into smaller bottles, slap home-made labels on them that read “Annie’s Secret Christmas Cheer Elf Potion” or something equally f***ing adorable, and give them out to anyone you want to impress.  Sit back and reap the holiday benefits, or just get drunk on pure Christmas magic!

AND NOW FOR THE SHOW NOTES…

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Whiskey Old-Fashioned

  • 2 oz. bourbon or rye.  (Or a mix.  We used three parts bourbon to one part rye.)
  • 1 sugar cube.  (Or 1/2 oz simple syrup.)
  • Angostura bitters
  • Orange slice and/or peel
  • One non-marchino cherry (optional)

Put a sugar cube in a glass and soak it down with bitters.  (And add a little water if that’s how you roll.)  Muddle it.  Pour in the booze.  Add a slice of orange or orange peel, and a cherry.  DO NOT MUDDLE THE FRUIT, DAMN IT!  Serve like you mean it.

MixMa$ter Therm gazes with dread upon the seven-week old eggnog.
AOD_Therm_Eggnog_IMG_3737

Here’s Johnny’s  trebuchet commercial.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZbG9i1oGPA

And the story of Marvin Heemeyer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvin_Heemeyer

 

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THE MOJITO SHOW – with Clifton James Weaver III

By Eric

AOD_Mojito_show_slug_small_IMG_2414THE MOJITO SHOW
With Clifton James Weaver III
(aka DJ Soft Touch)

What’s the “Song of the Summer” for 2015?  Damn us to Pharrell Hell if we know, kids!  Popular music has failed us, so we sit down with one of L.A.’s most accomplished funk and soul DJs, Clifton James Weaver, and tap his encyclopedic knowledge of groove before August slips away.

We also sit back and sip on the Mojito, Cuba’s most enduring contribution beyond cigars and a stream of angry expatriates to Florida.  Discover the drink that started as a cure for dysentery and ended up as one of Ernest Hemingway’s favorites!

And: Could Ike Turner beat up Ché Guevara? (NSFW as always.)

Subsribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!

DRINK ALONG AT HOME
The Mojito

  • 3/4 oz lime juice
  • 1 3/4 tsp superfine sugar
  • 2 oz white rum
  • 4 oz club soda
  • 4 mint leaves (or more)

First muddle the mint leaves with the sugar and lime juice in a tall glass.  (If you don’t have a professional-grade muddler, you can use a spoon.  If you do have a professional muddler, congratulations on a good use of your discretionary income.)  Add the white rum, top off with soda water, garnish with more mint and/or lime slices, drink with a straw, write novel, plan revolution.  Repeat.

MIXMA$TER THERM’S MOJITO CALCULATIONS
Therm's Mojito Chart CROPPED IMG_3568

CLIFTON JAMES WEAVER ON THE WEB
Clifton’s Corner at Aquarium Drunkard
Snap, Crackle and Bop on Punk Aristocrats
Jump + Dance Radio
Funky Sole at the Echo on Facebook
Clifton’s Facebook Page

OUR PLAYLIST FOR THE NIGHT
Keep on Shining – Curtis Harding
Move On Up – Curtis Mayfield
Check Your Bucket  – Eddie Bo
Sex Machine – Get Up with Dancer
Kelen Kati Leen – Orchestra Baobab
Got a Thing on My Mind– Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings
Vehicle – Orquesta Cubana de Musica Moderna

All of these songs can be found on Amazon at The Army’s Drunk Music Store!
(So hey, music lawyers, please don’t give us a take-down order.)

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THE SAZERAC SHOW – with Ian McEwan

By Eric

sazerac show slug_small_IMG_2475THE SAZERAC SHOW
With Ian McEwan
(“The Drunken Scientist”)

“Ask a Drunken Scientist!”  That’s what we wanted to do.  Don’t ask us why, because we have no reasonable explanation, but fortunately for us, we found Ian McEwan, and after a few cocktails he was willing to answer all of our questions from quantum theory to climate-change deniers to whether the U.S.S. Enterprise could beat up an Imperial Star Destroyer.

We also get into the history of the Sazerac cocktail, a sweet-and-herbal rye concoction invented in 1800s New Orleans ostensibly as a way for a local pharmacist to sell his bitters.  (Man, have we really gotten that cynical?)  If you ever wondered how Peycahud’s bitters got their start, listen up here.

Subsribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!

DRINK ALONG AT HOME
The Sazerac

  • 2 oz Rye.
  • 1/2 oz simple syrup or 1 sugar cube.
  • 2-3 dashes Peychaud’s Bitters.
  • About 1/2 oz Absinthe — or Herbsaint — to rinse the glass.
  • Lemon peel for garnish.
  • Ice

Tradition has it the Sazerac is created in two old-fashioned glasses.  Chill one glass by filling it with ice.  In the other, mash the sugar cube up with a few dashes of bitters (or just use simple syrup if mashing doesn’t agree with you.)  Add the rye stir.  In the other glass, get rid of the ice and give it a rinse of absinthe.  Herbsaint will work if you can’t find absinthe, though let’s face it, if you can get your hands on Herbsaint, you can probably find absinthe with no trouble.  Pour the rye mixture into the glass and add ice.  Garnish with a lemon peel.  Serve.  Drink.  Repeat.

By the way, when choosing a rye, you do not need to use the “official” Sazerac brand rye.  Any smooth rye will do, or even an angry rye if you’re in the mood.

Original Brandy Sazerac Variant
The Sazerac was originally made with brandy, so it’s can be a fun experiment to mix one up  using the classic wine spirit instead of rye.  If you do, halve the amount of sugar or simple syrup you use, because brandy is sweet enough as it is.  Serve with a sense of historical smugness.

Thanks to Topline Wine for the Rye Report!
www.toplinewine.com

Get your Peychaud’s Bitters!

And here’s a link to The Lawnmower Man, because you must never forget this chapter of our cinematic heritage.

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