ian mcewan | THE ARMY OF DRUNKS PODCAST

The A.I. Show pts 1 & 2

January 26, 2023 By Eric

With special guest Ian McEwan

OR: We make cocktail recipes generated by ChatGPT and ask a drunk scientist to forgive us for our transgressions.

Welcome to our Artificial Intelligence show! (As opposed to the Natural Stupidity we usually practice.) A show so packed with big-brain content, we broke it in two parts.

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Sponsored by Grisly’s Cosmic Black ! Support small booze business and get yourself happily cosmic!

Part one: This is the part packed with the nutritious information your brain craves. Let’s start with “Everything You Know About A.I. is Probably Wrong,” and move forward from there. Our guest, returning “drunk scientist” Ian McEwan answers all of our inebriated newbie questions about A.I., ChatGPT, and whether we’re all gonna end up in a singularity.

Part two: This is the part packed with drunken bullshit. Ian had to get the hell out of Buck’s kitchen and go home, so we were left with our own drunks selves, two AI cocktails to go, and a lot of drunken rambling about… A.I.’s, cocktails, tiki bars, and just about everything else at some point. And we end with a good-time fun-time game-time ha-ha thing!

THE A.I. GENERATED COCKTAIL RECIPES

We asked ChatGPT to work up a cocktail recipe based on our names, with only a little guidance. A couple of them were clearly made by an intelligence that had never tasted liquor before. Fortunately, MixMa$ter Therm was there to make some adjustments in the places where the computer went off the rails. It’s like the cocktail equivalent of Midjourney’s six-fingered hands. The recipe alterations are presented in the recipes for clarity, and we’ve set Therm’s fixes as the defaults. Seriously, no reason not to start with the version that involved some human intervention, unless you seriously have a thing for six-fingered hands.

THE SHAW’S CRAW

Request: A cocktail recipe called “Shaw’s Craw” that uses gin and has a bit of an “angry” kick.

• 2 oz of gin
• 3/4 oz of fresh lime juice
• 1/2 oz of simple syrup
• 1/4 oz of green Chartreuse
• 1/4 oz of Campari
• 2 dashes of Angostura bitters
• Lime wheel for garnish

Directions:
In a shaker, combine gin, lime juice, simple syrup, green Chartreuse, Campari, and bitters. Add ice and shake well. Strain into a rocks glass filled with ice. Garnish with a lime wheel.

Our verdict: Damn nice, indeed! It may not remind you of Matt Shaw, but it does remind you of his craw.

THE THERMAL EYE

Request: A cocktail recipe for a drink called the Thermal Eye, that is complex and has a “thermal” quality to it:

• 2 oz of mezcal
• 1/4 oz absinthe (ChatGPT said 1/2 oz)
• 1/2 oz of pineapple juice
• 1/2 oz of honey syrup
• 1/4 oz of lime juice
• 1/2 oz of jalapeño simple syrup (ChatGPT said 1/4 oz)
• 2 dashes of mole bitters
• A slice of jalapeño for garnish

Directions:
In a shaker, combine mezcal, absinthe, pineapple juice, honey syrup, lime juice, jalapeño simple syrup, and mole bitters. Add ice and shake well. Strain into a rocks glass filled with ice. Garnish with a slice of jalapeño.

Our verdict: Also a damn nice drink with Therm’s adjustments. Sweet and spicy without being “hot.” It was essential to pull back on the absinthe, since a little of that stuff goes a very long way. Therm also bumped up the jalapeño syrup so the flavor had an actual presence.

THE SHAFT TAKES MANHATTAN

An AI-generated image of a Shaft Takes Manhattan cocktail

Ok, the original request got lost when we copied the text. We probably asked for a “complex” take on the Manhattan and the AI probably responded as it usually does, by adding green chartreuse and absinthe. This is the revised version.

“Sure, here’s a new recipe for a ‘Shaft Manhattan’ cocktail:”

• 2 oz Rye whiskey
• 1/2 oz sweet vermouth
• 1/4 oz maraschino liqueur
• 1/4 oz Cynar
• 2 dashes of orange bitters
• Orange peel, for garnish

Directions:
In a mixing glass, combine the rye whiskey, sweet vermouth, maraschino liqueur, Cynar and orange bitters. Fill the mixing glass with ice and stir until chilled. Strain the mixture into a chilled cocktail glass. Express the oil from an orange peel over the top of the drink and drop it in.

Our verdict: Yep, it tastes like a high-end Manhattan you might pay a lot for in a crafty cocktail bar. The Cynar and maraschino take the edge off the rye with the combination of Cybar’s complex bitterness and maraschino’s cherry sweetness. Shaft himself wondered if the flavor was just more pleasant than distinctive, but we wouldn’t throw it out of New York for eatin’ crackers.

THE BUCK DOWN

Yes, appropriately AI-generated image of a Buck Down cocktail

Request: A cocktail recipe called “The Buck Down” that contains bourbon and has a retrofuturist feel? (Yes, we said “retrofuturist.”)

• 2 oz bourbon
• 1/2 oz coffee liqueur (ChatGPT says use cold brew coffee liqueur)
• 1/4 oz honey syrup
• 2 dashes of chocolate bitters
• 1 dash of absinthe for garnish (ChatGPT said 1/4 oz absinthe)

Directions:
In a mixing glass, combine bourbon, cold brew coffee liqueur, absinthe, honey syrup, and chocolate bitters. Add ice and stir until chilled. Strain into a glass. Garnish with a dash of absinthe. Enjoy your retro-futuristic cocktail, “The Buck Down”!

AI’s Notes:
• For honey syrup, mix equal parts honey and hot water until the honey is dissolved
• To give it a more retro-futuristic feel, you can serve it in a vintage glassware.
(Oh yes it did. It hung the futurist feel on the glassware. Cheap cop-out, GPT.)

Our Verdict: Another real nice creation when you lose the absinthe. The coffee liqueur complements the bourbon and gives it a sweet richness. (We used classic Kaluha because it was what we could get our hands on, the AI recommends a cold brew coffee liqueur.) And ok, we admit just one dash of absinthe doesn’t hurt it one damn bit.

FINDING IAN MCEWAN

If you want to catch up with Ian, the best place to find him is on his Mastadon account. He says it’s…

@ijm@mathstodon.xyz
or https://mathstodon.xyz/@ijm

We assume you’ll know what to do with that.

THE INCOMPARABLE FLOYD

You heard him all throughout the background of the show. At last, the images can be released! This is Floyd the bulldog, the finest creation ever to come out of the Jim Henson Creature Shop in its history.

ERNIE THE BOOZE ELF

Probably not what you’d hoped he’d look like.

Contact: Army of Drunks Facebook Page

THE MANHATTAN SHOW – with Ian McEwan

June 30, 2017 By Eric

THE MANHATTAN SHOW
with Scientist Ian McEwan

It’s Season Three, you drunken bastards! Put on your Celebratin’ Pants and get your Manhattan on as we play “Ask a Drunk Scientist” again with our good friend Ian McEwan. Ian tackles the big questions about robot uprisings, those new planets we can’t get to, and how you can or cannot cross the galaxy in one lifetime.

We also get under the history of the Manhattan cocktail — a drink as illustrious as the city itself — and we don’t shy away from the tough philosophical question: Dry or sweet? Bourbon or rye? What kind of vermouth? Wait, there are different kinds of vermouth?

Yes, my child, yes there are.

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DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Manhattan
(The MixMa$ter Therm “Perfect” Version)

3 oz Rye Whiskey
1 oz Dry Vermouth
1/2 oz Sweet Vermouth
6 Dashes of Angostura Bitters

The Manhattan is a drink that’s mostly as good as the base ingredients, so don’t chintz out on the whiskey if you can avoid it. Some people swear that rye is the only proper whiskey for a Manhattan. We trust these people, more or less, so go with rye and see how you like it. David Wondrich also says higher proof whiskies make for better Manhattans than their lower-proof cousins. We definitely trust David Wondrich. You should also put some effort into the vermouth, but remember, open vermouth bottles go bad in a few days if you don’t refrigerate them, so pick up a half-bottle if you can.

As you’d expect, put all of the ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Traditionally, you stir the drink it with a cocktail stirrer. Some say shaking adds foam, which you don’t want. Others say if you’ve got foam, you’re using bad ingredients, and besides, shaking is cool. Best to just go with the stirrer to avoid arguments.

Also traditionally, you should ideally chill the glass for half an hour in the freezer before serving. Most people don’t really want to plan that far ahead, so just fill the glass with ice cubes and cold water while you’re mixing, then dump that out before you pour the drink.

Garnish with a Luxardo cherry. Use of a maraschino is a crime punishable by forced exile from the Cocktail Kingdom. Seriously, if you’ve got no Luxardos, use a lemon peel.

MANHATTAN VARIANTS
Unsurprisingly, there are as many variants of the Manhattans as there are similes to describe the number of variants of the Manhattan. Some of them are:

SWEET MANHATTAN: Bourbon and sweet vermouth.
DRY MANHATTAN: Rye and dry vermouth.
“PERFECT” MANHATTAN: Rye and 1/2 dry and 1/2 sweet vermouth.
METROPOLITAN: Use Brandy instead of whiskey.
CUBAN MANHATTAN: The “Perfect” recipe, but substituting dark rum.

THE PLACE FOR SOME LINKS THAT WE’LL PROBABLY ADD TO AS PEOPLE ASK US TO ELABORATE ON STUFF

Here’s an article on that Faster-Than-Light Drive we were talking about.

And the NASA article on all those new planets!

THE SAZERAC SHOW – with Ian McEwan

August 1, 2015 By Eric

THE SAZERAC SHOW
With Ian McEwan
(“The Drunken Scientist”)

“Ask a Drunken Scientist!” That’s what we wanted to do. Don’t ask us why, because we have no reasonable explanation, but fortunately for us, we found Ian McEwan, and after a few cocktails he was willing to answer all of our questions from quantum theory to climate-change deniers to whether the U.S.S. Enterprise could beat up an Imperial Star Destroyer.

We also get into the history of the Sazerac cocktail, a sweet-and-herbal rye concoction invented in 1800s New Orleans ostensibly as a way for a local pharmacist to sell his bitters. (Man, have we really gotten that cynical?) If you ever wondered how Peycahud’s bitters got their start, listen up here.

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DRINK ALONG AT HOME
The Sazerac

2 oz Rye.
1/2 oz simple syrup or 1 sugar cube.
2-3 dashes Peychaud’s Bitters.
About 1/2 oz Absinthe — or Herbsaint — to rinse the glass.
Lemon peel for garnish.
Ice

Tradition has it the Sazerac is created in two old-fashioned glasses. Chill one glass by filling it with ice. In the other, mash the sugar cube up with a few dashes of bitters (or just use simple syrup if mashing doesn’t agree with you.) Add the rye stir. In the other glass, get rid of the ice and give it a rinse of absinthe. Herbsaint will work if you can’t find absinthe, though let’s face it, if you can get your hands on Herbsaint, you can probably find absinthe with no trouble. Pour the rye mixture into the glass and add ice. Garnish with a lemon peel. Serve. Drink. Repeat.

By the way, when choosing a rye, you do not need to use the “official” Sazerac brand rye. Any smooth rye will do, or even an angry rye if you’re in the mood.

Original Brandy Sazerac Variant
The Sazerac was originally made with brandy, so it’s can be a fun experiment to mix one up using the classic wine spirit instead of rye. If you do, halve the amount of sugar or simple syrup you use, because brandy is sweet enough as it is. Serve with a sense of historical smugness.

Thanks to Topline Wine for the Rye Report!
www.toplinewine.com

Get your Peychaud’s Bitters!
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And here’s a link to The Lawnmower Man, because you must never forget this chapter of our cinematic heritage.
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