The 2022 Thanksgiving Show Featuring the Three Best Cocktails for Thanksgiving
Or How to Survive Thanksgiving With Your Crazy Right Wing Relatives and Learn the Three Best Cocktails for Thanksgiving@
With the Army of Drunks
Happy Turkeybloat to us all! And this can mean only one thing: Awkward moments around the dinner table with your Qanon-adjacent ranty right wing uncle/grandpa/dad/brother. As usual, the drunks have your back!
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In this show, we give you all the counter-knowledge you need to clap back against those AON-soaked talking points. Including such topics as:
- Litter Boxes in Schools for Cat-Identified Kids
- California Letting 11 Million Illegal Immigrants Vote
- Hunter Biden’s Laptop
- The Flat Earth
- And many* more!
(*OK, maybe a couple more.)
Remember our motto: “ALWAYS ASK THE SECOND QUESTION!”
We also go over THE THREE BEST THANKSGIVING COCKTAILS with recipes, even! We’re that f*cking thorough!
- The Sage Old Fashioned a.k.a. The Wise Man
- Grisly’s Cosmic Cardigan
The Desperation Cocktail(don’t)- The Nutty Irishman
First is the SAGE OLD FASHIONED, also named THE WISE MAN by Therm a few days after the show when he finally came up with a good idea. Why wise? Because it’s got sage syrup! Get it? Sage? Look, it’s Thanksgiving, you’re going to have to endure a certain number of bad, dad-grade jokes.
THE SAGE OLD FASHIONED a.k.a. THE WISE MAN
First, you’ll need to make some sage syrup. It’s easy and doesn’t take long, so don’t be a turkey weenie about it, just buck up and make the stuff.
SAGE SYUP
- 1 cup sugar (or 2 cups if you want “rich syrup,” you decadent bastard.)
- 1 cup water
- 10 sage leaves
- A jar or bottle to store it in
First, cut the stems off the sage leaves. They’re bitter bastards. Then combine the sugar, water, and sage leaves in a pot. Stir it slowly over low heat until the sugar is dissolved, then let it simmer on very low for about ten minutes more. Pour the syrup into a jar along with the sage. Let sit over night to let the sage infuse even more. Then test it. Sagey enough for you? Good! Then remove all the leaves but one — ‘cuz it looks cool — and get ready to use the stuff.
MIX THE SAGE OLD FASHIONED
- 2 oz bourbon
- 1/2 oz sage simple syrup
- 1 dash Angostura bitters
- Sage leaf to garnish
Stir the bourbon, sage syrup, and bitters in a mixing glass with ice. Strain into a rocks glass with one large ie cube (if ya got one.) Garnish with a sage leaf. Bury face in mashed sweet potatoes.
THE NUTTY IRISHMAN
The Nutty Irishman is the perfect drink for after Thanksgiving dinner. The chemical tug-of-war provided by the coffee and the alcohol give you that “relaxed pep” you need when you still have hours to go before you can pour yourself into the car and escape the feast of family dysfunction.
And hey, if you like your family, then it’s just plain delicious
- 6-8* oz dark coffee,
- 1/2 oz Frangelico,
- 1/2 oz Bailey’s
- Optional 1 oz Irish Whiskey*
- Optional Whipped Cream
- *You’ll probably wanna use that extra 2 oz of coffee if you add the whiskey.
Pour it all into a nice lookin’ glass. Then if you’re feeling MixMa$tery, add some whipped cream on the top. And if you’re feeling really MixMa$tery, whip that cream yourself and add a little Bailey’s to it before you do.
GRISLY’S COSMIC CARDIGAN
- 1 oz dark drum
- 1/2 oz allspice dram
- 1 can Grisly’s Cosmic Black
- 2 dashes orange bitters
- Orange peel garnish
- Ice
Fill a pint glass with ice, Pour in rum and allspice dram. Add a can of Grisly’s cosmic black. Garnish with orange peel. Sit by fire. Enjoy the warm glow of the 21st century.
And oh yeah, here are some AI generated pictures of The Muddler, like we told you about. Why does the AI have him saying “DULLLBY?” Um… Uh… BEWARE THE MUDDLER! <muddle muddle muddle>
Buck’s Bandcamp page is here:
https://buckaedown.bandcamp.com
And, as always, Grisly’s Cosmic Black, the best damn bourbon and cola in a can!
http://shop.grislyscosmic.com/
Use code ARMY22 at checkout to get 10% off!
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