The A.I. Show pts 1 & 2
With special guest Ian McEwan
OR: We make cocktail recipes generated by ChatGPT and ask a drunk scientist to forgive us for our transgressions.
Welcome to our Artificial Intelligence show! (As opposed to the Natural Stupidity we usually practice.) A show so packed with big-brain content, we broke it in two parts.
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Part one: This is the part packed with the nutritious information your brain craves. Let’s start with “Everything You Know About A.I. is Probably Wrong,” and move forward from there. Our guest, returning “drunk scientist” Ian McEwan answers all of our inebriated newbie questions about A.I., ChatGPT, and whether we’re all gonna end up in a singularity.
Part two: This is the part packed with drunken bullshit. Ian had to get the hell out of Buck’s kitchen and go home, so we were left with our own drunks selves, two AI cocktails to go, and a lot of drunken rambling about… A.I.’s, cocktails, tiki bars, and just about everything else at some point. And we end with a good-time fun-time game-time ha-ha thing!
THE A.I. GENERATED COCKTAIL RECIPES
We asked ChatGPT to work up a cocktail recipe based on our names, with only a little guidance. A couple of them were clearly made by an intelligence that had never tasted liquor before. Fortunately, MixMa$ter Therm was there to make some adjustments in the places where the computer went off the rails. It’s like the cocktail equivalent of Midjourney’s six-fingered hands. The recipe alterations are presented in the recipes for clarity, and we’ve set Therm’s fixes as the defaults. Seriously, no reason not to start with the version that involved some human intervention, unless you seriously have a thing for six-fingered hands.
THE SHAW’S CRAW
Request: A cocktail recipe called “Shaw’s Craw” that uses gin and has a bit of an “angry” kick.
• 2 oz of gin
• 3/4 oz of fresh lime juice
• 1/2 oz of simple syrup
• 1/4 oz of green Chartreuse
• 1/4 oz of Campari
• 2 dashes of Angostura bitters
• Lime wheel for garnish
Directions:
In a shaker, combine gin, lime juice, simple syrup, green Chartreuse, Campari, and bitters. Add ice and shake well. Strain into a rocks glass filled with ice. Garnish with a lime wheel.
Our verdict: Damn nice, indeed! It may not remind you of Matt Shaw, but it does remind you of his craw.
THE THERMAL EYE
Request: A cocktail recipe for a drink called the Thermal Eye, that is complex and has a “thermal” quality to it:
• 2 oz of mezcal
• 1/4 oz absinthe (ChatGPT said 1/2 oz)
• 1/2 oz of pineapple juice
• 1/2 oz of honey syrup
• 1/4 oz of lime juice
• 1/2 oz of jalapeño simple syrup (ChatGPT said 1/4 oz)
• 2 dashes of mole bitters
• A slice of jalapeño for garnish
Directions:
In a shaker, combine mezcal, absinthe, pineapple juice, honey syrup, lime juice, jalapeño simple syrup, and mole bitters. Add ice and shake well. Strain into a rocks glass filled with ice. Garnish with a slice of jalapeño.
Our verdict: Also a damn nice drink with Therm’s adjustments. Sweet and spicy without being “hot.” It was essential to pull back on the absinthe, since a little of that stuff goes a very long way. Therm also bumped up the jalapeño syrup so the flavor had an actual presence.
THE SHAFT TAKES MANHATTAN
Ok, the original request got lost when we copied the text. We probably asked for a “complex” take on the Manhattan and the AI probably responded as it usually does, by adding green chartreuse and absinthe. This is the revised version.
“Sure, here’s a new recipe for a ‘Shaft Manhattan’ cocktail:”
• 2 oz Rye whiskey
• 1/2 oz sweet vermouth
• 1/4 oz maraschino liqueur
• 1/4 oz Cynar
• 2 dashes of orange bitters
• Orange peel, for garnish
Directions:
In a mixing glass, combine the rye whiskey, sweet vermouth, maraschino liqueur, Cynar and orange bitters. Fill the mixing glass with ice and stir until chilled. Strain the mixture into a chilled cocktail glass. Express the oil from an orange peel over the top of the drink and drop it in.
Our verdict: Yep, it tastes like a high-end Manhattan you might pay a lot for in a crafty cocktail bar. The Cynar and maraschino take the edge off the rye with the combination of Cybar’s complex bitterness and maraschino’s cherry sweetness. Shaft himself wondered if the flavor was just more pleasant than distinctive, but we wouldn’t throw it out of New York for eatin’ crackers.
THE BUCK DOWN
Request: A cocktail recipe called “The Buck Down” that contains bourbon and has a retrofuturist feel? (Yes, we said “retrofuturist.”)
• 2 oz bourbon
• 1/2 oz coffee liqueur (ChatGPT says use cold brew coffee liqueur)
• 1/4 oz honey syrup
• 2 dashes of chocolate bitters
• 1 dash of absinthe for garnish (ChatGPT said 1/4 oz absinthe)
Directions:
In a mixing glass, combine bourbon, cold brew coffee liqueur, absinthe, honey syrup, and chocolate bitters. Add ice and stir until chilled. Strain into a glass. Garnish with a dash of absinthe. Enjoy your retro-futuristic cocktail, “The Buck Down”!
AI’s Notes:
• For honey syrup, mix equal parts honey and hot water until the honey is dissolved
• To give it a more retro-futuristic feel, you can serve it in a vintage glassware.
(Oh yes it did. It hung the futurist feel on the glassware. Cheap cop-out, GPT.)
Our Verdict: Another real nice creation when you lose the absinthe. The coffee liqueur complements the bourbon and gives it a sweet richness. (We used classic Kaluha because it was what we could get our hands on, the AI recommends a cold brew coffee liqueur.) And ok, we admit just one dash of absinthe doesn’t hurt it one damn bit.
FINDING IAN MCEWAN
If you want to catch up with Ian, the best place to find him is on his Mastadon account. He says it’s…
@ijm@mathstodon.xyz
or https://mathstodon.xyz/@ijm
We assume you’ll know what to do with that.
THE INCOMPARABLE FLOYD
You heard him all throughout the background of the show. At last, the images can be released! This is Floyd the bulldog, the finest creation ever to come out of the Jim Henson Creature Shop in its history.
Floyd! 
Floyd!!! 
Floyd!!
ERNIE THE BOOZE ELF
Probably not what you’d hoped he’d look like.
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THE WHISKEY SPECIAL
Measure out 1 oz. each of the spices and put them in a big pile. Mash the cinnamon sticks and the nutmeg if you want, but otherwise toss everything in a frying pan and toast it up over the stove. (That means just heating them up for a few minutes while you toss them around in the pan. NO STINKIN’ OIL!)