bitters | THE ARMY OF DRUNKS PODCAST

THE OLD FASHIONED SHOW HOLIDAY REDUX – with Johnny Amerika

November 29, 2015 By Eric

OLD FASHIONED SHOW – HOLIDAY REDUX!

With Johnny Amerika

Holiday time is upon us, and as the Drunks gear up for Season Two, we regift a show from Season One, now with added fruitcakery! MixMa$ter Therm tells you how to make your own Holiday Five-Actually-Seven-Spice Liqueur to give as a gift to the ones you claim to love!

Meet mad genius Johnny Amerika who builds the sort of machines you only come up with when you’re drunk as the Army of Drunks get ice-balls deep in the (Whisky) Old Fashioned cocktail, a drink older than anyone alive today. We also hear news from the drunken hamlet of River Falls, learn the story of a real-live Killdozer, and drink seven-week-old eggnog without dying.

Subsribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!

MIXMA$TER THERM’S HOLIDAY FIVE-ACTUALLY-SEVEN-SPICE LIQUEUR!
Infusing liqueur is a (sometimes) cheap and (always) easy way to create a gift that makes you look a like an artisan badass. MixMa$ter Therm set out to concoct a booze based on the original “Chinese Five Spice” spice mix, and two extra spices later had a perfect Christmas liquor for getting loaded under the tree. You will need:

1 oz. cinnamon stick(s)
1 oz. whole cloves
1 oz. star anis
1 oz. fennel seeds
1 oz. black pepper corns
1 oz. whole nutmeg
1 oz. whole allspice
1.75 liter bottle of vodka
Approximately 2 cups simple syrup (1 part sugar to 1 part water)

REGARDING THE SPICES – Yes, we suggest buying them whole, not ground. It’s not the cheapest way to go, but you’ll have enough left over to make gallons of the stuff if you want.

Holiday Seven Spice Liqueur_small OriginalPhoto-470515979.008200 Measure out 1 oz. each of the spices and put them in a big pile. Mash the cinnamon sticks and the nutmeg if you want, but otherwise toss everything in a frying pan and toast it up over the stove. (That means just heating them up for a few minutes while you toss them around in the pan. NO STINKIN’ OIL!)

Coax all of those spices into a big-ass bottle of vodka and let it sit for about three days. Be sure to turn the bottle over a few times once or twice a day to keep them flavors mixin’! When the three days are up, strain out all of the spice through a fine strainer or a loose coffee filter or the powers of your mind or something. (And yeah, you’ll need a big bowl to dump all of this Christmas-tasting liquor into.)

Add simple syrup to taste, but we found a 1-to-4 syrup-to-vodka ratio worked quite well. This would be about 2 cups of simple syrup for 1.75 liters of infused vodka. Sip along the way to make sure you’ve done it right, and to make the time pass faster.

Pour your finished liqueur into smaller bottles, slap home-made labels on them that read “Annie’s Secret Christmas Cheer Elf Potion” or something equally f***ing adorable, and give them out to anyone you want to impress. Sit back and reap the holiday benefits, or just get drunk on pure Christmas magic!

AND NOW FOR THE SHOW NOTES…

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Whiskey Old-Fashioned

2 oz. bourbon or rye. (Or a mix. We used three parts bourbon to one part rye.)
1 sugar cube. (Or 1/2 oz simple syrup.)
Angostura bitters
Orange slice and/or peel
One non-marchino cherry (optional)

Put a sugar cube in a glass and soak it down with bitters. (And add a little water if that’s how you roll.) Muddle it. Pour in the booze. Add a slice of orange or orange peel, and a cherry. DO NOT MUDDLE THE FRUIT, DAMN IT! Serve like you mean it.

MixMa$ter Therm gazes with dread upon the seven-week old eggnog.

Here’s Johnny’s trebuchet commercial.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZbG9i1oGPA

And the story of Marvin Heemeyer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvin_Heemeyer

THE SAZERAC SHOW – with Ian McEwan

August 1, 2015 By Eric

THE SAZERAC SHOW
With Ian McEwan
(“The Drunken Scientist”)

“Ask a Drunken Scientist!” That’s what we wanted to do. Don’t ask us why, because we have no reasonable explanation, but fortunately for us, we found Ian McEwan, and after a few cocktails he was willing to answer all of our questions from quantum theory to climate-change deniers to whether the U.S.S. Enterprise could beat up an Imperial Star Destroyer.

We also get into the history of the Sazerac cocktail, a sweet-and-herbal rye concoction invented in 1800s New Orleans ostensibly as a way for a local pharmacist to sell his bitters. (Man, have we really gotten that cynical?) If you ever wondered how Peycahud’s bitters got their start, listen up here.

Subsribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!

DRINK ALONG AT HOME
The Sazerac

2 oz Rye.
1/2 oz simple syrup or 1 sugar cube.
2-3 dashes Peychaud’s Bitters.
About 1/2 oz Absinthe — or Herbsaint — to rinse the glass.
Lemon peel for garnish.
Ice

Tradition has it the Sazerac is created in two old-fashioned glasses. Chill one glass by filling it with ice. In the other, mash the sugar cube up with a few dashes of bitters (or just use simple syrup if mashing doesn’t agree with you.) Add the rye stir. In the other glass, get rid of the ice and give it a rinse of absinthe. Herbsaint will work if you can’t find absinthe, though let’s face it, if you can get your hands on Herbsaint, you can probably find absinthe with no trouble. Pour the rye mixture into the glass and add ice. Garnish with a lemon peel. Serve. Drink. Repeat.

By the way, when choosing a rye, you do not need to use the “official” Sazerac brand rye. Any smooth rye will do, or even an angry rye if you’re in the mood.

Original Brandy Sazerac Variant
The Sazerac was originally made with brandy, so it’s can be a fun experiment to mix one up using the classic wine spirit instead of rye. If you do, halve the amount of sugar or simple syrup you use, because brandy is sweet enough as it is. Serve with a sense of historical smugness.

Thanks to Topline Wine for the Rye Report!
www.toplinewine.com

Get your Peychaud’s Bitters!
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And here’s a link to The Lawnmower Man, because you must never forget this chapter of our cinematic heritage.
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SHO(r)T – Bitters no. 1

December 1, 2014 By Eric

THE ARMY OF DRUNKS SHO(r)T – BITTERS (the first)
With Taylor and Jeremy from Bitter Tears.

We’ll be back with a full show next week, but in the mean time learn all about bitters — and bitterness — with Taylor and Jeremy from Bitter Tears as we get drunk on the “Pork and Beans” cocktail, unearth Taylor’s Aunt’s torrid affair with Charles Bukowski, and learn that little ice cubes are for punk-ass chumps. (NSFW, as usual)

Subscribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen on our host site!

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
THE PORK AND BEANS

2 oz Bulleit Bourbon (or any brand you hold regrets over)
3/4 oz Copa de Oro Coffee Liqueur
4 pulls Bitter Tears “Ms. Piggy” Peppercorn Bacon bitters

PREPARATION
Combine bourbon, coffee liqueur and bitters in a mixing glass half filled with ice. Gently stir until chilled and properly diluted, about 20 seconds. Julep train into a chilled coupe or cocktail glass. Drink while thinking of what might have been.

BITTER TEARS can be found at:
http://www.bittertears.la/

And look for their pop-up bar at Bitchcraft Los Angeles.
https://www.facebook.com/events/736282523074071/