With special guests: Christmas Cereal & Grisly’s Cosmic Pancakes
Ah, Christmas. A big shiny wad of holiday cheer so unforgettable we completely forgot to do show notes until August.
We’re sorry about that. But as usual, we hope the lonely shut-ins who had nobody to spend Christmas with except Jim Beam and Old Granddad spent some time with us.
(That’s a joke, obviously. In these troubled tumultuous times I feel the need to mention that if you do have a problem with alcohol, you should seek help. Even on Christmas. Maybe especially on Christmas.)
This Christmas the drunks dive into a lovely winter-time cocktail, the Brandy Alexander. It’s like a creamy white sleigh ride through a gently snow storm of liquor.
We also try the recipe for Grisly’s Cosmic Pancakes, and discover that yes, Shaft is completely willing to ruin Christmas by promoting his god-forsaken business at any opportunity. Shame they actually taste really damn good.
Finally, we taste test some of the nation’s top Christmas cereals, since that’s probably what you’re having for your solo Christmas dinner in front of the Xbox anyway.
Mazel Tov!
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Sponsored by Grisly’s Cosmic Black zero sugar craft hard cola! Support small booze business and get yourself happily cosmic!
The Brandy Alexander
- 1 oz Cognac
- 1 oz Creme de Cacao (dark)
- 1 oz Fresh Cream
- Nutmeg Garnish
Shake with ice. Pour into a chilled cocktail glass. (You know, the usual.)
Alternative Recipe: From liquor.com
“The secret is to go heavy on the brandy and light on the sweet stuff.”
- 1 1/2 ounces cognac
- 1 ounce dark creme de cacao
- 1 ounce cream
- Garnish: grated nutmeg
Do the shaking and pouring thing. You should know this by now. You’re not a child.
Grisly’s Cosmic Pancakes
Ingredients:
- Pancake Mix
- Grisly’s Cosmic Black
- Something to grease the pan
Just follow the directions on the box of pancake mix but replace all liquids with Grisly’s Cosmic Black. Cook in a pancake pan with a pancake spatula in a pancake kitchen in a pancake house.
The Army of Drunks Christmas Cereal Review
| CEREAL | TASTE | MOUTHFEEL | CHRISMISSITY | OFFENSE AGAINST XMAS? | WHICH PEANUTS CHARACTER IS THIS? |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cap’n Crunch’s Christmas Cereal | Great but not Xmassy | Poor | Fair (Visually yes, taste: no difference) | Lazy. Like Top Gun Maverick | Charlie Brown |
| Elf on the Shelf Sugar Cookie Cereal | OK | OK | Good | Pandering. And fuck the elf on the shelf. | Sally |
| Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Hot Coca Cereal | OK | Poor (Bad marshmallows) | Fair (Phoned it in) | Hermie’s Fucking Hat For Fuck’s Sake | Woodstock (’99) |
| Sugar Cookie Toast Crunks | Good | Very Good | None, really | Took the cinnamon out of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s apathy. | Marcy |
| Gingerbread Toast Crunch | Great | Very Good | Great | None | Snoopy |
Thanks for listening. May Santa pee cocoa into your soul!
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