tiki drinks


Featuring the Mai Tai and Singapore Sling
With Comedian Katie Massa
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It’s August!  What better time for lounging by the pool and getting drunk as a Hawaiian sunset?  We’ve been away for a while, but before this long hot summer passes into misty memory, the Drunks have brought you an extra special, extra-extended parade of TIKI, damn it!

We plumb the Pacific depths of the only genre of cocktails spawned from a theme restaurant.  Learn how Don the Beachcomber unwittingly founded the Tiki movement in pre-WWII California, and how competitor Trader Vic took it nation-wide from — believe it nor not — Oakland.   Then learn the history of the MAI TAI, the flagship tiki cocktail, and the SINGAPORE SLING, an outside-the-Polynesian-triangle addition to the tiki pantheon.

Matt Shaw also tells us about his distillery tour of Scotland.  Yes, someone let Matt Shaw loose in the land where they make scotch.  Katie Massa tells us how People are Horrible™. Buck expounds on what it means to get “Tiki Drunk.”   We solve the urgent riddle of Zsa Zsa Gabor: alive or dead? And we play “Name That Sex Act: Trump Edition.”  (NSFW as always.)

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Before we go too far, this is the flat-out amazing Tiki book we referenced during the show, Smuggler’s Cove by Martin Cate and Rebecca Cate.  It goes deep into the kelp on the true origins of all the Polynesian cocktails you sort-of know and think you probably would love if you could only try one.   It also contains the ORIGINAL MAI TAI recipe we tried.  (We’d post it here, but we don’t want to deny Martin & Rebecca their hard-earned book royalties.)   If you love Tiki as much as you love life itself, or even slightly less, go buy it right now!

And if you need your bad self some good Tiki mugs, we used this plucky little set.

The Mai Tai!

  • 1 oz (2 tablespoons) dark rum
  • 1 oz (2 tablespoons) amber rum
  • 2 tablespoons fresh orange juice
  • 1/2 oz (1 tablespoon) Cointreau (or triple sec or Curaçao)
  • 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
  • 1 teaspoon orgeat syrup  (or 1 drop pure almond extract)
  • 1 teaspoon superfine granulated sugar
  • Dash of grenadine
  • Garnish: an orange slice, or Lime rind and mint sprig

Shake all of the ingredients with ice, pour into a highball glass with a straw.  Or a tiki glass, or a Tiki mug if you want to go full-Tiki.

Note: Martin Cate suggests you add the juice of half a fresh lime after the pour, to keep it from over-liming the whole drink.  YMMV.  There’s also some debate over the proper garnish.  Apparently the classic Mai Tai uses a mint sprig with the lime rind, while the more modern Tiki-slinger can go with an orange slice, or any of the usual Tiki umbrella/fruit combos.

The Singapore Sling!

  • 1 1⁄2 ounces gin
  • 1⁄2 ounce cherry heering
  • 1⁄4 ounce Cointreau liqueur
  • 1⁄4 ounce benedictine
  • 4 ounces pineapple juice
  • 1⁄2 ounce lime juice
  • 1⁄3 ounce grenadine
  • 1 dash bitters

Shake all ingredients in a shaker with shakable ice.  Strain into a highball glass or Tiki mug.  Garnish with whatever festive Tiki regalia you have at your disposal.  (But anything involving pineapple never hurts.)

From the Gentleman Callers of Los Angeles

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THE BLUE HAWAII(an) SHOW – with the Army of Drunks

AOD blue hawaiian show slug_small IMG_2668THE BLUE HAWAII(an) SHOW
With the Army of Drunks

What’s the difference between a Blue Hawaii and a Blue Hawaiian?  Not much!  But the difference could save your life!!*  Listen as the Army dives face-first into the drink that arguably started Tiki culture in America.  Also, we once again thank the good people of Florida for Booze News!  No guest in this archive show, just the Army of Drunks getting loaded for the good of our country.

*This difference will probably not save your life.

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The Blue Hawaii Cocktail

  • 3/4 oz. Light Rum
  • 3/4 oz. Vodka
  • 1/2 oz. Blue Curacao
  • 3 oz. Pineapple Juice
  • 1 oz. Sweet & Sour Mix (Making your own is better, and not that hard.)
  • A cherry, a wedge of pineapple, and one of those tiny umbrellas. (If you want to do it right.)

Combine all the liquid ingredients (not the fruit and the umbrella, asshat) in a cocktail shaker, or blend in a blender (or anything else that blends) with ice.  Serve in an appropriately Tiki-like glass.  Stab the fruit with the umbrella and garnish.  Drink.  Think of simpler times.

And the Blue Hawaiian Cocktail

  • 3/4 oz. Light Rum
  • 3/4 oz. Vodka
  • 1/2 oz. Blue Curacao
  • 3 oz. Pineapple Juice
  • 1 oz. Cream of Coconut
  • A cherry, a wedge of pineapple, and one of those tiny umbrellas. (Seriously, do we have to explain this?)

Spend a long time in the grocery store looking for cream of coconut, until you remember it’s not coconut milk.  Combine all the liquid ingredients in a cocktail shaker, or blend in a blender with ice.  Pour in a Tiki glass.  Add the garnish.  Remark on how much more dessert-like it is than the other drink.

And the Army of Drunks original Blue Hawaiish™ Cocktail

  • 3/4 oz. Light Rum
  • 3/4 oz. Vodka
  • 1/2 oz. Blue Curacao
  • 3 oz. Pineapple Juice
  • 1/2 oz. Cream of Coconut
  • 1/2 oz. Sweet & Sour Mix
  • A cherry, a wedge of pineapple, and… blah blah blah…

Combine all the ingredients in a thingie.  Pour into mouth-hole.  Strum ukulele.

And here’s MixMa$ter Therm in his snazzy tuxedo!


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