alcohol | THE ARMY OF DRUNKS PODCAST

THE COBBLER SHOW – with James Slay

April 22, 2016 By Eric

THE COBBLER SHOW
With James Slay
Actual Goddamn Bartender

We should have done this a long time ago. This week the Army of Drunks sits down with an actual goddamn bartender to hear what life is like behind the counter. Warning: it can suck to be on the other side of you when you’re ordering a drink.

While we hear war stories from behind the bar, we investigate the Cobbler, the first American cocktail to take the world by storm in the 18th century, thanks two the combination of sherry, ice and — believe it or goddamn not — the invention of the straw. Listen as we get old-tymie loaded on both the original Sherry Cobbler, which liked you’d expect is made with sherry, and the D Cobbler, which upgrades to whiskey and ginger ale. (NSFW as always.)

Subscribe on iTunes here!

Or Listen Directly here!

During the show, James educates us on William Schmidt, one of the first cocktail book authors in America. In fact, here he is! Look into his steely, whiskey-burned gaze as you think about what booze awaits you.

Remember, William is an innocent, but his mustache stands in judgement of you and all you’ve done… or failed to do… in this life.

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Narragansett Cobbler

Whole Peel of Orange
Juice of one Orange
One “jigger” whiskey (we used Canadian whiskey)
One Bottle of Ginger Ale (though you won’t need the whole thing)
Cracked Ice
Berries to Garnish this Sucker
A Paper Straw (if you’re going to be traditional about it)

If you’re going to be a badass like MixMa$ter Therm, start by taking off the entire peel of one orange in one piece. Good luck with that. Put the peel artfully spiraled in a collins glass. Add the juice of the orange, a jigger of whiskey, fill the rest with ice, and top off with ginger ale. Then garnish it with berries, because it makes you look all-Martha-Stewart ‘n’ shit. (And really, it makes the drink look gorgeous.) Drink through a straw, a paper one if you’re going to be historically accurate.

AND AS LONG AS YOU’RE SIPPING HISTORY, ALSO TRY…

The Sherry Cobbler

4 oz. Dry Sherry (everyone says go for amantillado)
1/2 tsp simple syrup or 1 tbs sugar
2 or 3 Orange Slices
Cracked Ice
Berries and/or Mint to Garnish it to Glory
A Goddamn Paper Straw

Muddle the orange slices and the sugar/syrup in a mixing glass. Add the sherry and ice, then shake like a bucking mule. Strain into a collins glass over more cracked ice. Garnish that sucker with berries and a paper straw. Pretend you’re in The Music Man.

BUY WILLIAM SCHMIDT’S BOOK!

AND CHECK OUT THE CAPGUN HOLDUPS!

SOME GODDAMN PHOTOS FROM THE RECORDING SESSION – ORANGE SLAUGHTER & SUPER MARIO!

THE ZIGGY STARDUST SHOW – with Andy Hermann

January 24, 2016 By Eric

THE ZIGGY STARDUST SHOW
With Andy Hermann
Music editor for the Los Angeles Weekly

Yes, unless you’ve been buried under a man who fell to earth for the past month, you know that David Bowie recently passed on to the great unknown. In celebration of the groundbreaking alien rock star, the Drunks present a tribute show with L.A Weekly music editor Andy Hermann while drinking the Ziggy Stardust, a drink as complex as Bowie himself. (And the first Army of Drunks cocktail that could actually burn the place down.)

WARNING: We get loaded, pretentious, and all-kinds-of-serious about Bowie and his music, but we still have plenty of comedy-ha-ha-good-times as Spork recounts her tale of getting pelted with eggs in Havana on New Years Eve, we play “Bowie or Bizkit,” and we delve deep to find out what’s in Shaw’s craw.

Oh, and for those of you Bowie virgins out there, don’t worry, Buck gives his list of where to start listening. (Or go ahead and worry. See if we care.) But you can scroll down to buy the albums on our Amazon Store.

(And the show is NSFW as always.)

Subscribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Ziggy Stardust

4 oz Vodka
1 oz Creme de Violette
2 dashes Orange Bitters
1/2 oz Goldschlager
Sprinkle of Cinnamon
Fire

Combine vodka, violette and bitters in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake and pour into a martini glass. Pour the Goldschlager into a shot glass and light on fire. Sprinkle cinnamon over the flame and watch it sparkle like Ziggy Stardust himself. Then pour into a glass and drink, reminding yourself that the world is over four billion years old, and you were lucky enough to live at the same time as David Bowie.

The Ziggy Stardust in Progress. Notice the heart-shaped flame. (photo by Kevin Rolly)

OUR HONORED GUEST
Andy Hermann is the kick-ass music editor for the Los Angeles weekly. Read more about him here.

Andy’s listicle tribute to David Bowie — 10 Reasons Why David Bowie Was Our Weirdest Rock Star — is here.

AND WE ALSO TALKED ABOUT…
Ann Power’s NPR piece on David Bowie — Reflections of a Bowie Girl — can be found here.

Henry Rollins’ L.A. Weekly review of Bowie’s Blackstar is definitely worth a look here.

DAVID BOWIE’S MUSIC
We mentioned a few albums on the show, and Buck’s list of the three albums to start on are:
– Hunky Dory (1971)
– The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars (1972)
– Aladdin Sane (1973)
To that, Andy added:
– Let’s Dance (1983)
That oughtta get you started. We also discussed:
– David Bowie (1967) his first album
– Blackstar (2016) his final album

All of this is available in the Drunken Music section of the Army of Drunks Amazon store. GO THERE NOW!

AS PROMISED, HERE’S A PICTURE OF SPORK IN THE STREETS OF HAVANA ON NEW YEARS

Spork Represents the USA in Havana on New Years.

FINALLY, A RARE PHOTO OF THE DRUNKS IN THEIR NATURAL HABITAT.

The Drunks in their Natural Habitat. (left to right, Shaft, Buck Down, Spork, Matt Shaw, guest Andy Hermann, MixMa$ter Therm. Photo by Kevin Rolly.) — left to right, Shaft, Buck Down, Spork, Matt Shaw, guest Andy Hermann, MixMa$ter Therm. (photo by Kevin Rolly.)

THE EL PRESIDENTE SHOW – with Jhonen Vasquez (extended cut)

July 4, 2015 By Eric

THE EL PRESIDENTE SHOW
With Jhonen Vasquez
(Extended Cut)

Yeah, we were going to do a show about the Zombie, but it turns out that’s way more complicated than we thought. Seriously, no two recipes are alike on that cocktail, and one of them involves cooking up your own spice mix. Seriously. So in honor of re-opening relations with Cuba, we present a cocktail that was founded in Havanah during prohibition and crossed that small patch of ocean to the United States. In the process we learn they never should have added the goddamn grenadine.

Our quest is Jhonen Vasquez, comic book artist and creator of the INVADER ZIM cartoon series. We talk a little about the new INVADER ZIM comic, and talk a lot about other random things like robots, murder, horror movies, the glorious absurdity of adults being stupid for a living, and how to rule with an iron scrotum. (NSFW as always. And really not safe for kids.)

Subsribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!

DRINK ALONG AT HOME
The El Presidente

We went through a couple of recipes until we found what we think is the optimal version of the El Presidente. The secret: NO GRENADINE!

MixMa$ter Therm’s Optimal Presidente:

2 parts white rum. (Something better than Bacardi if you can find it.)
1 part dry vermouth. (Dolin white is the most recommended.)
1/2 part orange curacao.

Shake all ingredients in a shaker, like you do, and pour into a chilled glass. Garnish with an orange peel if you have any style at all. Drink while you oppress the common people.

Oh, and when you’re done… always refrigerate your vermouth! It goes bad.

But if you insist on trying the more mainstream version:

2 parts white rum.
2 parts dry vermouth.
1/2 part orange curacao.
Dash of grenadine.

Shake everything in a shaker with ice, like you would. Pour in glass. Drink. Think about how it would be much better without the grenadine.

SOME OF JHONEN’S OFFICIAL INTERNET LOCALES
http://www.questionsleep.com
http://jhonenv.tumblr.com
https://twitter.com/jhonenv

AND SOME OF VASQUEZERY ON AMAZON
<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />

AND DON’T FORGET THE “ROBOT OR NOT” PODCAST
https://www.theincomparable.com/robot/

Short: 1980s – THE SEX ON THE BEACH

June 14, 2015 By Eric

Short: 1980s – The Sex on the Beach
with the Army of Drunks

Why are we doing this? Really, why are we doing this? The 80s. Was it the beginning of institutionalized Spring Break drinking, or did it just seem that way because everyone was young and drunk? We take no steps toward finding out, but we do drive head-first into the Sex on the Beach cocktail. And if it makes you feel any better, we don’t enjoy it.

And if you can create one cocktail after an embarrassing Spring Break indiscretion, can you create more? Find out as we reverse-engineer awkward sex acts into cocktail recipes. And remember, Alcohol Jesus is watching over us all.

Subscribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!

DRINK ALONG AT HOME!
The Sex on the Beach

2 parts Vodka
1 part Peach schnapps
2 parts Orange juice
2 parts Cranberry juice

Pour everthing in a big glass with ice. Stir. Drink. Throw dignity down toilet. Repeat.

OPTIONAL MIXMA$TER THERM VARIATIONS
MixMa$ter Therm came up with a couple of variants to make to make the drink a little more palatable.

Variant One: Replace the Peach schnapps with Cointreau.
Variant Two: Replace the Peach schnapps with a float of Galliano.

OTHER SPRING BREAK SEX-ACT COCKTAILS!

THE SEX IN A MOTEL6
• Jaegermeister
• Plastic-lined glass
• Small bar of soap

THE BLOWJOB IN A PARKING LOT
• Midori
• Cream.

THE UNCOMFORTABLE THREEWAY
•Goldschlager
•Kahlua
•Coke

THE CONSOLATION HANDY
• Orbitz
• Popov

THE DANCEFLOOR DRY-HUMP
• Red Bull
• Dry Sack Sherry