THE ARMY OF DRUNKS PODCAST

simple syrup

DAIQUIRI SUMMER SPECIAL – with Doug Ecks

By Eric

DAIQUIRI SUMMER SPECIAL – 2018
with Competitive Eater Doug Ecks

Yep.  That’s how it’s spelled. Daiquiri.  We looked it up.
It’s Summertime folks, and the drunks are back in town!  In this episode, we’re enjoying a relaxing fruity beverage, trying not to think too much about the state of our democracy, and learning all about the fascinating world of competitive eating!
 We’re joined by Doug Ecks, a man who can put away a frankly shocking amount of franks in a single sitting.  We have so very many questions.  By the end of this one, you’ll know a ton about Doug, Daiquiries, and damn little else.

AND WELCOME OUR NEW SPONSOR!
503 Distilling has a fantastic line cocktails in a can, for those times when you just don’t have the time, space, or gumption to mix your own damn drink.  Between the Wicked Mule and the Blood Hound, they got your lazy drunken ways covered!  Deliciously too, damn it!

DRINK ALONG AT HOME
The Daiquiri

The classic daiquiri recipe is not that complicated.  If you fuck it up, you’re not even competent enough to be drinking, much less drink-mixing.  However, it never hurts to do the homework of squeezing your own limes and picking up a good rum for a change.*

  • 2 oz light rum
  • 1 oz fresh squeezed lime juice
  • 1/2 oz simple syrup
  • Ice.  Some say crushed.

First you need to chill your glass, because it’s hot in Cuba.  Put some ice in it and set it aside, like any kindergarten-level bartender knows to do.  Then put some ice in a cocktail shaker and throw in your ingredients.  (Throw is a metaphor, here.  Don’t throw any liquids unless you are secretly Avatar: The Last Booze-Bender and have supernatural control over cocktails.  If this is the case, also please be training to battle the Lord of the Sober Nation.)  Shake the mixture up good.  Remove the ice from your glass and lovingly pour in the magic cocktail juice.  Garnish with a lime wheel and enjoy.  WE SAID ENJOY, YOU BASTARD!

NOTE: Some recipes call for you to use straight sugar instead of simple syrup.  This is Next Level Shit™, and we don’t recommend you try it without a lot of practice first.  The results can be uncomfortably granular and not nearly sweet enough.

*Serious Eats has a nice article on daiquiri rums.  We tried noth Flor de Caña and Diplomatico for the show, but we got so drunk we can’t remember which we liked better.

VARIATIONS!
The Banana Daiquiri

We also tried a bastardized version of the New York Times’ Banana Daiquiri recipe.  Bastardized in that Shaft forgot to buy orange juice so we just plum left it out.  Still, it’s the best banana daiquiri we’ve ever had, and we used to frequent TGI Friday’s in our young, embarrassing years.

(By the way, the next time you hear Unhinged Chucklehead Donald Trump call the New York Times “failing,” point out to him that they’ve done a hell of a lot more to promote banana daiquiris in this country than he has.  Then please kick him in the goolies for us, since you’ve obviously gotten close enough to talk to his bloated orange face.)

The Times’ recipe is:

  • 2 ½ ounces dark rum
  • 2 ½ ounces light rum
  • 3 ounces lime juice
  • 2 ounces orange juice (which we forgot and it turned out great anyway)
  • 2 large, very ripe, frozen bananas, sliced
  • 1 ounce simple syrup
  • 2 cups ice

Mix everything up in a blender.  Pour it all in a glass.  Throw fruit on top to make it look cute.  Pour down chest.  Pretend it’s spring break.

The Hemingway Daiquiri
The version Ernest made famous, also called “The Papa Doble,” because it needed twice the rum to satisfy a man of such massive manliness.  Imbibe magazine’s Hemingway Daiquiri recipe is as good as you’ll find anywhere, so go check them out.

The shorthand version is:

  • 1 ½ oz. white rum
  • ¾ oz. fresh lime juice
  • ¼ oz. fresh grapefruit juice
  • ¼ oz. maraschino liqueur

Do the usual stuff you’d think to it.

OUR DRUNKEN GUESTS
Doug Ecks’s profile can be found on the Major League Eating website.

He’s also on Facebook if you really need to get a hold of him, but you can search for that.  We’re not enabling any of you hotdog-stalkers.

STUFF YOU SHOULD BUY!
Once again, we brought up the Smuggler’s Cove book.  If you don’t own it already, buy it through our Army of Drunks link and we’ll get to keep a few cents off the sale.  Jeff Bezos is a god damn saint, isn’t he?

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LET’S TALK ABOUT FEELINGS – Politics, Lime Juice & Boy George’s Beard

By Eric

LET’S TALK ABOUT FEELINGS
Politics, Lime Juice, and Boy George’s Beard
with Brian Doherty

The Feelings Experiment Continues as Buck and Brian Doherty (senior editor at Reason Magazine) get into some drunken palaver on the state of politics in the internet age. Can we ever have an adult conversation again when debate has become a cage-match for internet trolls?

We also get a little deeper into Rose’s Lime Juice.  Because you love that shit!  And we ask some very deep questions about Boy George’s Beard.

Also: Name That Sex Act!  Why?  Because… you love that shit!

 

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ROSE’S LIME JUICE!

Here’s a lovely little article Slate put out on the juice in question.

 

BOY GEORGE’S BEARD!

I mean, seriously, this is what we’re talking about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AND IN CASE YOU MISSED THEM LAST WEEK, SOME RELEVANT BOOKS AND JUICE!  

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THE GIMLET SHOW – with Brian Doherty

By Eric


THE GIMLET SHOW
with Brian Doherty
Senior Editor at Reason Magazine

It’s “Ask a Drunk Libertarian,” as we get loaded with Brian Doherty, author and senior editor at Reason Magazine. Hear Brian explain that even libertarians don’t take Ayn Rand all that seriously. WARNING: This one gets into an actual political conversation. (We’re shocked, too.) If that bothers you, just fast forward to “Randy, Rice, or Rooney” at the end.

We also find out the history of the Gimlet cocktail, and how it was created by a conspiracy of British sailors and lime juice merchants. Damn limeys.

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Tip Us on Patreon!

Or Listen Directly Here! 

DRINK ALONG AT HOME
The Gimlet

MixMa$ter Therm was out of town for this one, so until he engineers the “perfect” version, we’re presenting you with two classic recipes.

“Classic” Gimlet

  • 5 parts gin
  • 1 part simple syrup
  • 1 part lime juice

Combine all the damn ingredients in a shaker.  Shake it.  Pour over ice.  It’s that simple.  You can also use Rose’s lime juice if you so choose.  It’s already sweetened, but also has some bitter “peel” flavor inherent, so it balances out.  There are some people who say stir the damn thing.  As far as we can tell, it doesn’t make a big difference in the drink overall, but there’s something about the supercooled shaken version that we enjoy.

Raymond Chandler’s “Long Goodbye” Gimlet

  • 2 parts gin
  • 1 part lime juice
  • 1 part simple syrup

This is exactly how the drink is described in Raymond Chandler’s “The Long Goodbye,” and apparently in the Savoy Cocktail Book as well.  Not exactly the ginniest of Gimlets, but it’s a fun historical oddity.  Shake it if you got it.

OUR DRUNKEN GUEST

Here’s a link to Brian’s page at Reason.com!

And pick up one of his books.  He’s got one of the best book’s on the history of Burning Man, ever.

 

And you want Rose’s Lime Juice?  We got the US and the UK versions!

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THE SAZERAC SHOW – with Ian McEwan

By Eric

sazerac show slug_small_IMG_2475THE SAZERAC SHOW
With Ian McEwan
(“The Drunken Scientist”)

“Ask a Drunken Scientist!”  That’s what we wanted to do.  Don’t ask us why, because we have no reasonable explanation, but fortunately for us, we found Ian McEwan, and after a few cocktails he was willing to answer all of our questions from quantum theory to climate-change deniers to whether the U.S.S. Enterprise could beat up an Imperial Star Destroyer.

We also get into the history of the Sazerac cocktail, a sweet-and-herbal rye concoction invented in 1800s New Orleans ostensibly as a way for a local pharmacist to sell his bitters.  (Man, have we really gotten that cynical?)  If you ever wondered how Peycahud’s bitters got their start, listen up here.

Subsribe on iTunes!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Or listen directly here!

DRINK ALONG AT HOME
The Sazerac

  • 2 oz Rye.
  • 1/2 oz simple syrup or 1 sugar cube.
  • 2-3 dashes Peychaud’s Bitters.
  • About 1/2 oz Absinthe — or Herbsaint — to rinse the glass.
  • Lemon peel for garnish.
  • Ice

Tradition has it the Sazerac is created in two old-fashioned glasses.  Chill one glass by filling it with ice.  In the other, mash the sugar cube up with a few dashes of bitters (or just use simple syrup if mashing doesn’t agree with you.)  Add the rye stir.  In the other glass, get rid of the ice and give it a rinse of absinthe.  Herbsaint will work if you can’t find absinthe, though let’s face it, if you can get your hands on Herbsaint, you can probably find absinthe with no trouble.  Pour the rye mixture into the glass and add ice.  Garnish with a lemon peel.  Serve.  Drink.  Repeat.

By the way, when choosing a rye, you do not need to use the “official” Sazerac brand rye.  Any smooth rye will do, or even an angry rye if you’re in the mood.

Original Brandy Sazerac Variant
The Sazerac was originally made with brandy, so it’s can be a fun experiment to mix one up  using the classic wine spirit instead of rye.  If you do, halve the amount of sugar or simple syrup you use, because brandy is sweet enough as it is.  Serve with a sense of historical smugness.

Thanks to Topline Wine for the Rye Report!
www.toplinewine.com

Get your Peychaud’s Bitters!

And here’s a link to The Lawnmower Man, because you must never forget this chapter of our cinematic heritage.

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