Short: 1990s – (Redeeming) THE APPLETINI

AOD_1990s_Appletini_show_slug_small_IMG_1985Short: 1990s – (Redeeming) The Appletini
with the Army of Drunks!

Ah, the 1990s!  A time of transition between the sugary concoctions of the 80s and the more mature cocktails of times to come.  Where candy-flavored “bullshitinis” ruled the high-end drink menus of bars all over America.  We dive face-first into the Jolly Rancher-green Appletini and survive.  How?  Through the ingenuity of MixMa$ter Therm and his genuinely-worthy Apple Martini recipe.  Along the way, we get to know the drink nobody wants to take credit for, except maybe some guy named Adam Carston.  Listen and be amazed!  (NSFW as always.)

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The Classic Bullshit Appletini Recipe That Will Make You Popular With College Kids

  • 2 parts vodka
  • 1 part sour apple pucker
  • 3 parts shame (If genuine shame is available, you should not be serving this drink.)
  • Apple slice for garnish

Put all ingredients in a shaker with ice.  Shake.  Pour toxic green mixture in glass.  Garnish with apple slice.  Serve to under-age sorority girl.  Drink.  Realize what you’ve done.  Cry bitter tears.  Scrape sugar from lips.

The MixMa$ter Therm Variation That’s Genuinely Good

  • 4 parts vodka
  • 1 part calvados
  • 1 part unfiltered apple juice
  • 1/2 part cointreau
  • Apple slice for garnish

Put all ingredients in a shaker with ice.  (Except the apple slice.  It’s a garnish, and you’re smarter than that, friend.)  Shake like you mean it.  Pour into a chilled glass.  Garnish with the apple.  Sip confidently knowing you’ve graduated to the next level, and those green Appletini Goblins can never hurt you again.

Finally, Who the F*** is Adam Carston?

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